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» Listings for May 2016

  1. 12795116_10156652747825137_4878346308419233389_o

    1. You shake bottles, ones that do not contain the baby's formula, they probably contain fizzy pop which spells out disaster.

    2. The little one is playing on the floor, and you still have your foot on the rocker, rocking away for a good 5-10 minutes before realising it's empty.

    3. You're watching a rivetting tv show eg Game of Thrones whilst rocking the baby in the rocker with your hand. The show just gets more intense and you have to be told to stop, you are so excited that you're near enough bouncing the baby out of the rocker

    4. You found out either whilst out or when you were back home that you were wearing one or more item of clothing inside-out, back-to-front or both.

    5. You have walked around in public with stains on your clothes when you don't have your child with you, the presence of a child would usually warrant an acceptance from the public as to the state you're in...without the child, you just look like a dirty scruffy slob.

    6. You walk out of the house and reach the car before you notice that you're still wearing your slippers.

    7. You try to put your trousers on in the dark, quietly, so as to not wake the little munchkin...think to yourself that they seem too small/too big and work out that you are trying to put on your partner's jeans

    8. You put handsoap on your toothbrush instead of toothpaste...

    9. You take a huge well-earned gulp of tea and it is has gone disgustingly cold, or worse, forget to boil the kettle in the first place and make cold tea.

    10. You find yourself singing baby tv theme songs out loud as if they were chart toppers, and constantly get angry at yourself for doing so and shouting shut up...in public, this is even more humiliating (the singing and the talking to yourself!).

    11. You carry on watching children programmes even though your child has either left the room or fallen asleep.

    12. You find yourself being wound up by characters on a cartoon eg how nasty Susie Sheep can be, how many jobs does Miss Rabbit have etc; and you constantly complain about the standard of singing on baby shows...this is a sign you really need to get out more!!

    13. You reach for an alcoholic bottle to pour into your pasta rather than olive oil, in my case it was strawberry pimms, bleurgh!

    14. You get out of the car, lock it, think you've forgotten something, penny drops, unlock the car, take baby out.

    15. My most shameful moment...whilst eating a bowl of cornflakes, baby tried to climb the sofa, in trying to stop him fall, somehow the whole content of my bowl landed on his head...his face was literally dripping with milk and cornflakes. Poor thing!

    These have all happened in our household over the past year since becoming parents for the first time.
    Please tell us that we are not alone in losing the plot.
    Have you done any of the above? What's your most shameful parenting moment? 

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